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Film Reviews

THE GIRLFRIEND EXPERIENCE

By • May 25th, 2009 •

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I saw THE GIRLFRIEND EXPERIENCE thanks to the CineVegas International Film Festival program “CineVegas Presents at the Brenden” held at the Palms Casino Resort.

Crap. No script, no acting, no sex, and no talent. Disney animation has more sex. Grey is shot hidden in the dark and behind sofas. She’s an emotional bore. She spends the 77 minutes putting her hair in a bun.

I don’t blame Sasha Grey. I put all the blame on director Steven Soderbergh, the master of the dirt-cheap production.

The May 14, 2009 Rolling Stone magazine issue has Bob Dylan on its cover (but passed up getting the explosive details on Dylan’s sex life, secret marriage and daughter) and a story titled “The Dirtiest Girl in Porn” about 21 year old mega-porn star Sasha Grey. The author rapturously wrote about Grey as if she were the Jean Genet of the sex industry, an enlightened but perverted Jean-Paul Sartre, and an entrepreneur that Donald Trump or Sir Richard Branson would fear. Thank God Sasha Grey is not ready to build casinos or take paying passengers into suborbital space.

Of course, Sasha, like all porn stars, has the sexual appetite of Empress Catherine of Russia. Sasha is “the adult industry’s reigning princess of porn”. Unlike past porn stars like Linda Lovelace or Marilyn Chambers, Sasha controls her image. There are no mob men pulling the strings.

More important, Grey is a businesswoman of extraordinary intellectual prowess who is conducting her career with the skill of a high-powered, Hollywood insider with 30 years cut-throat experience.

No one has ever gotten a free blowjob from Sasha Grey!

Of course, Sasha Grey does not do drugs or drink.

Don’t be fooled by the pabulum dished to you by Soderbergh.

THE GIRLFRIEND EXPERIENCE is not the expose of the exploits of a high-end escort (played by a real life porn star).

What is THE GIRLFRIEND EXPERIENCE (TGE) exactly? Some men want women to want them even if it is all pretend. They don’t want the contractual hour. I watch HBO’s “Cathouse”. The ladies LOVE what they do. They are always laughing! They want to party HARD! But then, once in the bedroom, it’s all business as the client peruses the sex menu. Then the “stiff” negotiation process begins.

In South American and Thailand TGE’s, men pay for a “love package” where they can have women at their beck-and-call, 24-hours a day. Let’s face it, men love the idea that the prostitute hopes, if they show off their girlfriend potential (go to a movie, get jealous of other women, have a little spat, make love all day long, cuddle at night, cry at the airport), they will be rescued by a foreigner who will fall in love, want to get married, and bring them and their family to America.

Soderbergh’s THE GIRLFRIEND EXPERIENCE has no script so we are punished with scenes of men discussing the economy and 2008 presidential election with a $2,000 an hour call girl, Chelsea (Sasha Grey). Chelsea is the best at what she does, but we only see her listening to her sad and lonely clients.

I don’t want to be mean, but this mainstream movie could kill Grey’s porn career.

Chelsea works alone and is a free agent. Her escort website brings her clients. Chelsea has a gorgeous Manhattan apartment, a gorgeous and an understanding boyfriend (Chris Santos). Chelsea shops and has lunch for 77 minutes.

Soderbergh has put together two things meant to seduce audiences: A tease of a subject and a real life porn star without any tattoos or plastic surgery! What you get is aimless improvised dialogue about nothing and lousy camera work.

This movie is so cheaply made that there is only one camera angle. People talk in profile. Sasha Grey and Santos are photographed in red lights or in total darkness.

THE GIRLFRIEND EXPERIENCE makes DANCE FLICK look like a masterpiece.

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