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Clint Eastwood was approached to reprise his DIRTY HARRY role in yet another sequel. A clear thinker, unlike the studio types that dreamed up this nightmarish scenario, Clint wisely declined. At 73, the film’s eponymous protagonist’s moniker no longer would imply unethical police methods, but rather that he’s given to soiling himself. Not quite the boxoffice draw of the old days.

FIR contributor Glenn Andreiev has been blitzing the media lately. The casting coup of Bernard Goetz in his most recent feature, EVERY MOVE YOU MAKE, has landed him in The Enquirer and Premiere Magazine, on CNN and Court TV, and now, on June 10th, Glenn and Bernie will be locking horns with Barbara Walters on ‘The View’, ABC’s catchy show which you can tune in on at 11:00 am. Glenn tells me that Goetz and Walters have gotten along in the past, but there are other co-hosts: there might be fireworks. So don’t miss it!

You all remember Marc Walkow’s coverage of the Sitges Horror Film Festival last year. All the rain, the mediocre films, the few good ones, the interviews, Marc and Jennifer’s chihuahua, Scooter, standing defiantly on the bed in their hotel room. Wonderful coverage of a world renowned genre celebration.

Marc and Jennifer have outdone themselves this time: on Sunday, May 25th, at 11:30 am, at the Lily Pond in Lower Manhattan a mere few blocks from Ground Zero, and overlooking the misty Hudson River, they were wed.

It was a DVD industry gathering of sorts. Schmoozing prior to the big moment were luminaries Nathanial Thompson, Product Marketing Manager at Image Entertainment, informed contributor to Video Watchdog, and author of the upcoming book DVD Delirium Volume Two from FAB Press; Steve Coppel, Director, National Accounts at Image; Bob Foster, DVD Production Coordinator at Image; Radley Metzger, whose large body of film work (and some of whose films concern rather large bodies) grace the DVDs of Image, Synapse and First Run Features; Eddie Samuelson of Media Blasters and DVDmainacs.net; Howard Berger, director of ORIGINAL SIN; Scooter McCrae (can’t tell you who was named for who…), writer/director of SHATTER DEAD, distributed by Sub Rosa on DVD, and it’s female lead, Stark Raven; Michael Gingold, Managing Editor of Fangoria Magazine and Head Usher for the blessed event; Chris Poggiali, contributing writer for Fango and Shock Cinema; John Charles, contributor to Video Watchdog and webmaster of Hong Kong Digital, which can be found at dighkmovies.com; AMC’s Jason Bylan; among many others…

The bride and groom arrived and things came together very quickly. Jennifer, in a lovely white gown, was leading her beloved Scooter on a decorative leash. The well-behaved animal was wearing a tiny tuxedo. The nuptials were performed by none other than the other Scooter, filmmaker or rather Reverend McCrae, who had been recently ordained by email in order to perform this particular ceremony. Would that I had the text of his benediction, for it was well conceived and heartfelt. He then announced that Marc and Jennifer would read some prepared words to each other, at which point Radley Metzger leaned over to me and whispered, “Here come the pre-nups.” However, both speeches were lovely, containing little or no cynicism, and Marc’s, I noticed, even recalled the Sitges trip they took together, which gave me a heart palpatation (the good kind). What confused me, though, was the Asian contingent seated to the left of the area, spread out on green benches, all yammering incessantly throughout the proceedings, so that I couldn’t even hear most of Jennifer’s reading of her prepared text. Must have been a cultural thing…?

The weather, which had been lethal all week long, and continued along that bent in the days to come, abetted for that morning and even the afternoon, demonstrating once again that God may have a thing for filmmakers and film lovers, even if they don’t go with traditional religious ceremonies. Following the marriage, Head Usher Gingold led the assembled throng across the West Side Highway and into the wilds of lower Manhattan, marched us past the ruins of the World Trade Center where, in 2001, Marc and Jennifer were gallantly pulling dust covered victims into the relative safety of their building, to the wedding Reception, where Lichee Martinis, oysters and all manner of other delectable food products were circulating, and the wedding guests were making merry.

It was really a unique affair, and Janet and I were glad to be there. The newlyweds, I’m told, then went frolicking in Costa Rica, a verdant country I considered settling in until I found out it has no cuisine to speak of.