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THE ZEROS! By Glenn Andreiev

For the past 110 years, we can see, decade-by-decade, the artistic, business, and technical growth of film. The 1920’s start with silent films like THE GOLEM, but ends with the liveliness and spunk of the Marx Brothers’ talkie, THE COCOANUTS. The 1960’s begins with movie-palace pleasing epic presentations like SPARTACUS, and ends with the hand-held in-your-face jabs of EASY RIDER. Aside from the advances in movie marketing thanks to the internet, not much changed in movies from 2000 to 2009. AVATAR promises to be the next step up in movie-making, but we have yet to see. Here are my choices for the ten best films of the “zeros”. (Will we soon hear “I’m having a zero retro party?”, “Oh, mom, you’re so old fashioned, that is so zeros!”)

GLADIATOR (2000) Director Ridley Scott and actor Russell Crowe teamed to give us some of the decade’s best screen moments. They could be this decade’s DeNiro/Scorcese or Ford/Wayne team. To tell how compelling this jolting view of ancient Rome is, this film was playing at my local theatre when the fire alarm rang. The patrons were evacuated, the film continued to run, and the fireman were summoned. According to the manager, when they found it was a false alarm, the firefighters, all in uniform, were seated in the theatre, glued to the screen.

MOULIN ROUGE (2001) Baz Luhrmann’s roller coaster ride of a period musical goes from being crazy cartoon fun to funeral parlor sad without missing a beat. Wonderful defiance of period movie musical convention by having musicians in 1899 Paris play pop disco 80 years ahead of schedule. Nicole Kidman is passable as a songbird, but it’s Ewan McGregor who proves what a fine set of singing pipes he has.

SPIRITED AWAY (2001) Japan’s (and for me, the world’s) top animator working today, Hayao Mizayaki created this lesson about growing up and respecting one’s parents, that is constantly having our eyes and senses work overtime. My favorite part is the disembodied roly-poly heads.

GANGS OF NEW YORK (2002) Martin Scorsese’s story for this grand look at troubled, highly dangerous 19th century midtown Manhattan is the stuff of B-Movie action/revenge flicks. Oh, but heck, it’s so much fun. This movie moves so very fast. Daniel Day-Lewis creates a villain here (xenophobic meat carver Bill the Butcher) that could set off nightmares in adults!

SUPER SIZE ME (2004) Documentaries became vogue again thanks to Morgan Spurlock’s amusing, argument-inducing expose at the fast food industry and how he feels the rich Burger executives are getting richer by sending us to early high calorie graves! Gotta love that Smoking Fry!

THE WAR OF THE WORLDS (2005) Everything 1996’s INDEPENDENCE DAY wanted to be, but couldn’t. Steven Spielberg gives us the end of the world by way of aliens from the ugliest, meanest planet in the universe! ET has gone bad-boy here. A scary thrill ride. I think Tom Cruise’s character dies in the movie, and the last segment is his dying fantasy, a la OCCURANCE AT OWL CREEK BRIDGE. You agree?

CHARLIE THE UNICORN (2006) Youtube came upon the scene, allowing anybody to make and market a video. Yep, there are too many Matrix tributes, self-made Glenn Becks, etc., on Youtube, but technically, these are in the film/video medium and one has to be included here. From Jason Steele and Filmcow.com comes CHARLIE THE UNICORN. This short clip, already with 42 million views, starts with happy, new-age-like cliché- spouting unicorns trying to cheer up their grumpy unicorn buddy Charlie (“Come Charrrrllllieeeeeeee…..”) The twist ending is brilliantly funny. Go on, you’re on the computer – check it out!

BURN AFTER READING (2008) The Coen Brothers unravel this silly, dry-humored gem about CIA-secrets, paranoia, and one helluva basement project! Imagine if the bad guys in NORTH BY NORTHWEST involved the stupidest soul in New York in their game instead of Cary Grant. That’s this movie. Brad Pitt, Frances MacDormand, George Clooney and John Malkovich all shine here. Extra points for the monotone, talky and laugh-inducing ending.

SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE (2008) Last years’ Best Picture Winner and deservingly so! Director Danny Boyle goes from the squalor of Dubai, India at it’s worse, to a cheery Bollywood happy-singing ending. Excellent use of digital video cinematography.

INGLORIOUS BASTERDS (2009) Quentin Tarantino successfully moves from the seedy underbelly of LA in PULP FICTION and TRUE ROMANCE to the seedier bowels of World War II Europe in this jaw-dropping tribute to the war film and film in general.

Continue to John Larkin’s Choice…

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