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One of my favorite things to do with movie actors was to watch their performances on tape with them. Hopefully they would remember, perhaps for the first time, little tidbits from the shooting, etc….Vladek recalled Glenda Jackson worrying endlessly about her weight as she was seven months pregnant, and how it would photograph. He indicated how much he was responsible for the subtext he brought out of his character Loerke’s homosexuality, including his retelling of Tchaikovsky’s horrific wedding night on the train that literally foreshadowed an infamous sequence from Russell’s then yet-to-be- filmed production of THE MUSIC LOVERS.

Vladek was good friends with Isabella Telezynska, who has already been profiled in last year’s “Queen Mother” essay about her life in Hollywood in CAMP DAVID. He also acted in Rome with Martine Beswicke in a very decadent film, ILL BACIO (1973). “I play her slave and Martine gives a very wicked turn as a devil-worshiping, drug-taking witch.” “Martine and I would wear outrageous costumes to orgies, and we were invited to all of them at the time, during the shooting of that film.”

After we finished watching the film, the subject turned once again to Vladek’s future – should he move to Hollywood for a while? I suggested that he wait, as most of his work came from Europe, and if he wanted to work in Hollywood it would most likely be in television, and he was just too exotic for his own good in a place like Hollywood. He weighed the prospects and wisely chose to remain in England.

Once Vladek was back in London he wrote “I feel so happy at home, alone or not, with my scripts and songs, painting, and in my apartment in Paris, that WHY the hell should I bother to stay AGAIN in front of the camera and die of boredom? I had hope of Hollywood and being near you but the thought that I had to organize everything myself and start (again) from scratch put me off that idea this year (1985). I have no ‘AMERICAN SPIRIT OF ADVENTURE.’ I have not an American PUSH. Voila.
C’est tout mon vieu fou amis, je t’embrasse, yours Vladek.”

Vladek tried on several occasions, on my behalf, to locate film personalities for me to interview for Films and Filming, which was still a prestige venue even as late as 1985. He tried to set up Jerzy Skolimowski and his wife Joanna, who were great friends of his at the time. However our schedules never mixed and we just never connected. As much as I adored DEEP END, we still have not done our interview.

By the time I was back in London again Vladek had organized a little dinner party for me and kept the guest of honor as a big surprise; however the biggest surprise was yet to come. Vladek loved to cook and entertain for his friends, and especially his mother who always cooked for him when she came to visit. This was to be a special night, and for starters he prepared baked potatoes filled with caviar and sour crème with the rest of the menu to be Polish delights….

I arrived still not knowing what celebrity was to be offered up for the evening’s surprise. Vladek answered the door dressed all in white with a red silk belt around his waist looking very ”Oh Calcutta”. As I walked through the door he said “You are in for a real treat and our guest is already here.” Our “guest” turned out to be the Indian producer Ismail Merchant who with his life partner, James Ivory, created films the entire world has applauded for decades. Mr. Merchant was a modest and charming man who put me at ease straight away by telling me how much he loved reading Films and Filming over the years and that as a boy, living in a village with one cinema that only opened once a week, he lived for the movies, especially the glamorous Hollywood films of Rita Hayworth. Vladek was beaming at the sight of us getting on so well and we toasted the evening with Champagne and soon dinner was served. I wish I could remember everything that was said that night, yet it was one of those great evenings with no thoughts of tomorrow or taping interviews. After Vladek’s amazing dinner, filled with gourmet delights (none of which was good for you, no doubt) we continued our conversation with Brandy in Vladeks living room, which was filled with his paintings and mementos from all over the world. What happened next was the beginning of a classic French farce. There was a knock at the door and when Vladek opened it, there stood a London Bobby complete with the hat, who then without warning planted a kiss right on Vladek’s mouth. “Sorry I didn’t call first, love, but I am off as of ten minutes ago. Can I join the party?” This it turns out was Vladek’s latest conquest. The story of how they met is still vague, but believe me it was strange and very much in keeping with the master’s offbeat lifestyle.

However the best was yet to come as the four of us sat down (with Ismail very amused at this point by the current turn of events) trying to pick up where we left off, and there was yet another knock at the door. This time it was not so amusing. “Ismail I know you are in there so you might as well open the door…Ismail what are you doing?” Vladek looked at Ismail Merchant who had gone very pale and whispered “Oh my God its James; he’s found my appointment diary, and he gets like this when he has had to much to drink. James hates when this happens, that I go out on my own and keep him in the dark about it” The knocking was still coming, with more pleading from the other side of the door…”Let me in I want to meet your lovers, all of them!!…Vladek was shocked at first, and then began to laugh as only he could. “My God what does he think we doing in here anyway…Ismail go let James in and we will explain that young Mr. David is your new conquest.” “Very funny. Is there another way to get outside? I think it best that I take him home.” So Vladek led Ismail Merchant out through the kitchen entrance so he could walk around to the front door without letting the overwrought James Ivory confront the three men inside, being much to tipsy to cope. To this day I cannot see REMAINS OF THE DAY or any MERCHANT/IVORY production without hearing the American half of that production company screaming “Let me in: I want to meet ALL of your lovers.”

Vladek became a great friend of Bette Davis when he first came to Hollywood. She had just seen him in FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE and became a fan as well as a mentor. He took all of her advice to heart, including her now classic line, “Just be the bitch, darling, and you will always have work, if not a cult following.” And of course it was true.
Ms. Davis confided to him that she always narrowed her eyes, lowered her voice, and gave long pauses before saying her lines with a kind of whisper. If you watch some of Vladek’s films you will see this method in action.

One of Vladek’s favorite parts was that of “Mr. Boogaloo” in the mind-numbing future/rock/disco film THE APPLE (1980). Today this is a midnight cult film and, much like Ed Wood’s PLAN NINE FROM OUTER SPACE, is regarded as one of those so-bad-it-is-good films. Vladek instinctively knew this film would be appreciated even though it took several years after his death for it to happen.

I remember Vladek showing me some audio tapes he kept from the film of all his songs. The tapes were given to him by Menahem Golan himself, to learn all the lyrics at the time of filming in Germany back in 1979. Apparently Menahem was just blown away by Vladek’s ability to speak several languages at once, if you recall the scene where Mr. Boogaloo holds a press conference for a diverse group of international reporters and speaks to each one in his own language. One of his favorite stories about it involved Grace Kennedy, the other lead singer who, after the film came out, married a millionaire who made it is business to try and find every print of his bride’s infamous film and burn it on the spot. Luckily the film has survived and is now on DVD for all to see.

In preparing this piece I began to reread some of Vladek’s letters written to me over the years, remembering what a loyal and generous spirit he was not only with me but anyone who came into his orbit and made him laugh.

Vladek Sheybal passed away suddenly in his beloved flat off Farm House Rd in London on October 16th 1992

Vladek loved this line from THE APPLE: “Life is just a Casino Royale.” He certainly knew how to be….a…MASTER.

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