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Film Reviews

SECRET THINGS

By • Jan 9th, 2004 •

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(Les Choses Secretes)
In French with English subtitles

Some things are better off left a secret.

Directed by Jean-Claude Brisseau, this film follows two beautiful young women who use sex to manipulate men and climb the corporate ladder. Adhering to a strict set of relationship do’s and don’ts (don’t fall in love, don’t wear underwear, do fake orgasm) and after a series of important erotic lessons with each other regarding masturbation, how to properly fake orgasm, and how to make men so wildly jealous and insane with love that they want to relinquish their entire estate to you, Natalie and Sandrine set out to seduce and destroy Christophe, a Ken-doll look alike and heir to a large French bank.

Sandrine assumes an entry-level position within the bank thanks to a particularly short skirt. While long lusty stares, lip-biting, and bending over to pick up pens in said skirt work to drive other men at the firm crazy with desire, Christophe is not impressed. Rumor has it that women have doused themselves in gasoline and lit themselves aflame after he has broken up with them. Clearly, a heart-breaker. Sandrine has her work cut out for her.

Though Natalie created the rules, she can’t seem to abide by them. She has gone ahead and broken rule number one: Don’t Fall in Love. The object of her affection? Mr. Heartbreaker himself. He is just so irresistible. Can Sandrine manage to seduce him and get what she wants without falling for him too?

I am tired of these androcentric themes.

This is a silly and cliché film, kept afloat only by some titillating sex scenes, which recall Kubrick’s Eyes Wide Shut. Much like a soap opera, highly unbelievable changes happen overnight. We are obediently supposed to accept these things. Why? Because the mellifluous French voice-over says so.

Comedy is what saves this film from being a complete failure. Everything is just so ridiculous, you might as well laugh.

Credits:
Director: Jean-Claude Brisseau
Producer: Jean-Claude Brisseau, Jean-Francois Geneix
Screenplay: Jean-Claude Brisseau
Director of photography: Wilfred Sempe

Cast:
Sabrina Seyvecon,
Coralie Revel,
Roger Mirmont,
Fabrice Deville,
Blandine Buryas

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